And Like That, We’re Back

–by Caitlin

A quiet dawn turned into a brilliant and windy afternoon as we sailed through Canadian waters toward the border with Washington State. The enormous ferries that move people through the waterways of British Columbia crossed Debonair’s bow or overtook us. A mile from the border a Royal Canadian Mounted Police boat buzzed us. 

We’d spent the last 18 days sailing from Alaska through British Columbia. We sailed through fjords, across straits, and through narrows that boiled with fast moving water, swirled into whirlpools, and rose into standing waves. While we’d anchored up each night, we weren’t allowed ashore due to Covid restrictions. We felt alone, but we also felt our completeness, our wholeness as a crew as we pushed south through the remote watery world of British Columbia.

“How you folks doing?” The Canadian police boat cruised alongside us as we shouted names and passport numbers into the wind. After ascertaining that we weren’t trying to sneak into Canada and offering us info about places we need to return to see, the police sped off, and we barreled across the border, sailing against a wicked current, but with the wind. 

Just outside of Washington State’s Roche Harbor, we lowered our sails. We motored into the harbor to anchor among gleaming yachts. Sportfishing boats zipped by, and float planes took off and landed every hour. Ashore, we stretched our legs and tried to keep up with ice cream cones melting in the heat. We hadn’t been in contact with anyone while we were in Canada, so this busy vacation town felt overwhelming. I thought about posting a blog entry, but there was too much going on, too much still to process. 

A few days and a few anchorages later we put Arlo on a bus in Anacortes—he was flying back to the Bay Area for pre-season cross country training. Before Arlo left, he asked me, “Mom, we had a five-year plan for our voyage, and we pretty much stuck to it, right?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” I said. “We always planned to end the voyage here in the Pacific Northwest.”

“So now what?” he said. “What’s next?” I don’t remember how I answered, but I know how we felt as Jason and Alma and I walked away from the bus depot without Arlo, back to the marina where Debonair was waiting. For so long we’d been a voyaging family, a crew of four, and now, as the three of us walked back to Debonair, we weren’t. We were aware that next time Arlo returned to Debonair, he would have graduated from high school, and the time he spent on board would become provisional.  

Our melancholy mood stemmed from more than an awareness of our shifting family dynamics. We were also coming closer and closer to the last days of this multi-year odyssey. Alma and Jason and I were about to bring Debonair home to her last port. For so long we’d been a voyaging family, and soon we’d be a family that had completed a voyage and returned. 

Alma and Jason and I sailed to a little cove on the south side of Lopez Island where we hiked and picked blackberries and rode out a windy night. Another day’s sail brought us into a marina in Port Townsend where we spent a busy week preparing Debonair for winter. Then Alma and I flew home to join Arlo and to start school and work, while Jason stayed behind to haul Debonair out and do long-postponed maintenance work.

Back in California now, one of us will sometimes look up from whatever we’re doing and pause. “You remember when?” we’ll say, and everyone else will look up too. Remember when we raised the staysail off the mizzen mast? Remember when Christian gave us the boeuf sauvage? And lobster hunting and freediving in Toau? Remember the huge seas in the Alenuihaha channel? Remember saving Pepita in the williwaws of the Kenai peninsula? And from this summer: remember floating Debonair free when we ran aground, remember hauling the big halibut aboard, remember anchoring among log booms. Remember the grizzlies and the crazy call of the sandhill cranes and that wolf on the beach and the whales. Remember how good it feels to be just us sailing, to be a crew, to be out in the weather all the time, to be out in the world.

When I think about what we’re taking with us from the voyage, I think about mountains and reefs and islands, about banyan trees and spruce trees and endless clouds. I think about how familiar anxiousness feels. And I think about newfound competence–and confidence. I think about desire and work and wonder. I think about Debonair, the beautiful vessel that kept us safe across oceans, the boat that sheltered us wherever we were and taught us to be voyaging sailors.

If we were to retrace our voyage, we’d probably do it differently. But we know there’s no perfect voyage, for the unknowns and our imperfect responses to them are the essence of any voyage, and we feel so lucky to have been able to draw our imperfect wiggly wake across the ocean.  We were scared sometimes, but we found we felt connected—to those we met, to the natural world, to Debonair, and to each other. We got to add this wiggly line to the beautiful tangle of our life.

I didn’t write a blog entry when we re-entered the US in Roche Harbor or when we tied Debonair up in Port Townsend or even when we came back to Alameda. I’ve postponed writing, I think, because it’s hard to acknowledge the end. We set out from San Francisco in January 2018. We sailed south to Mexico, then west for 26 days across the ocean to the Marquesas Islands in the South Pacific, and on to the Tuamotu Islands and to the Society Islands. Sailing north from French Polynesia back across the equator to Hawaii, we encountered heavy weather. Completing the circle, we sailed North from Hawaii to Kodiak, Alaska. We’ve spent the last two summers working our way south from Kodiak. Our arrival in Washington two months ago marked the end of our planned 16,000 mile voyage. 

While we’ll return to Debonair next summer to sail back into British Columbia and visit some of the places recommended by our friends from the Mounted Police, the trip will feel different, somehow–more summer expedition than a continuation of the longer voyage.

That longer voyage–that sometimes frightening, often exhilarating voyage–has come to an end. As is probably true for so many voyages, it was hard to go out and hard to come back. And we’re so glad for all of it.

Thank you all for your generosity along the way—for reading our words, for sharing yours with us, for your help and your enthusiasm and kindness. We’ll keep you posted.

A few more pictures from this last summer: